Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Tremors in Singapore

Dear Daddy ad Mummy:

I was worried, so I called. There were tremors in Singapore, from Woodlands all the way until Shenton Way. I was just wondering if you were OK. Dad, you laughed when I called you because you said that it would be nice if you got a half day off because of the tremors. Mummy was not feeling well. She didn't feel the tremors but her colleagues did.

I am very appreciative of my parents writing about them brings tears to my eyes. Best Parent's Award -- how many people can say that? Thank you for loving me and for giving me a home. Thank you for feeding me and working so hard. Sometimes I get upset because I know that you have sacrificed so much, I need to repay you in a way. I want to give you a good life, I want you to enjoy your old age, and I pressure myself so much to do well.

Sometimes I get depressed because I feel I can never be as good as what I want. I know I have achieved much at this age, but I want more because I want you to be so proud. No, I am not a scholar or not first class, hanging on 2nd upper only. I tend to use academics to judge myself because I don't know how else to. Maybe on the amount of money I make, or how ambitious I am... Yes I have come far, but I want to go further so you can be so so so proud.

I get disappointed with myself sometimes. Why can't I get a scholarship, or why can't I be super smart, like dean's list. But that is not my capability.. God needs to help me. I need to trust more and rely less on myself.

I am glad the tremors didn't affect you too much nonetheless. I miss you all. In hall, it sometimes gets lonely... I like being at home but I tend to not be able to concentrate with the TV and all that food :)

I know you don't need me to be smart to love me or to take care of me. But I want to be... will I ever be good enough for me to love myself? Only Jesus knows...